This Weeks Message
“How many have laid waste to your life when you weren’t aware of what you were losing, how much was wasted in pointless grief, foolish joy, greedy desire, and social amusements - how little of your own was left to you. You will realize you are dying before your time” - Seneca, On the Brevity of Life, 3.3b
What say you?
One of the hardest things in life is learning to say "No." Not just to invitations, requests, or obligations—but to everything that pulls you in a thousand directions. It's hard to say "No" to the things everyone else is doing, to the noise that drowns out your peace. But even harder still is saying "No" to the emotions that seem small in the moment: anger, excitement, distraction, obsession, lust. They don’t seem like a big deal, right? But left unchecked, they grow into commitments that drain your energy and steal your time.
These emotions, these impulses—they can silently take over your life. They promise to be thrilling, or comforting, or even necessary, but in reality, they just keep you trapped. If you've ever wondered why your days feel full but you’re still somehow empty, why you’re always busy but never present, this is why. It's the small things you let in that end up running the show.
So, what if you could reclaim your time? What if you could feel less overwhelmed? The answer is simple, though it’s not easy: Learn to say "No." "No, thank you." "No, I’m not going to get caught up in that." "No, I can't right now." It will sting. It may upset people. It may challenge everything you think you should be doing.
But here’s the truth: The more you say "No" to the things that don’t matter, the more you can say "Yes" to the things that do. And in doing so, you’ll find the space to live the life you truly want—peaceful, purposeful, and full of meaning
What’s something you’re going to say NO to this week? Find me in the discord.
Move Now.
This weeks movements.
I’m going to save you the theatrics behind why I do what I do in this workout protocol but if you’re interested in reading the entirety of my history with lifting and fitness and how I’ve used it as a primary way of regulating my mental health, head over to the CoffeeFit section of this site and you’ll find what you’re looking for.
Here’s the in gym workout, and I will be updating and changing this every two weeks. Please keep yourself attuned and updated on this. I’m going to be doing random check ups and seeing if you’ve been keeping up. It’s three days a week. You CAN make 45-50 minutes happen three days a week.
Here’s our first set of movements for the month.
Again, I have an in depth explanation behind all of these workouts and why I do them on CoffeeFit. If you click over there, you’ll get further explanations, tempos, what weight to use, etc. This is strictly the movements I’m using.
This program follows a push-pull-legs (PPL) split. Each session emphasizes high volume with sets to absolute failure, controlled reps, and progressive overload. None of these workouts should take you longer than 50 minutes. If you are spending longer than an hour in the gym, in my opinion; you are not using enough intensity.
I’d rather take one or two sets to agonizing failure than to stay in the gym pushing set after set to mild discomfort. Junk volume. To me, it does nothing.
Day 1: Push (Chest, Shoulders, Triceps)
Incline Plate Load Hammer Strength, Or Incline Barbell – 3 sets of 15-20 reps
(Control, focus on a deep stretch, first set should be taken close to failure, second set should be agonizing failure, third set should feel good and NOT taken to failure)Shoulder Press Machine – 4 sets of 6–8 reps
(Keep core tight, focus on pressing straight overhead, do NOT take more than your first set to failure)Dumbbell Lateral Raises – 3 sets of 25 reps
(Light weight, slow and controlled movement)Chest Dips – 3 sets to failure
(Lean forward slightly to engage the chest more)Triceps Pushdowns (Rope or Bar attachment) – 4 sets of 10–12 reps
(Focus on full range of motion)Overhead Triceps Extension (Dumbbell or Cable) – 3 sets of 12–15 reps
(Ensure a deep stretch at the bottom)
Day 2: Pull (Back, Biceps)
Seated-Cable Rows – 4 sets of 15-20 reps. Yes. 20 Reps.
(Keep the back flat, pull to the lower chest)Close-Grip Pull-Ups – 3 sets to failure
(You should be aiming for 10 reps, this will take time.)One-Arm Dumbbell Row – 4 sets of 8–10 reps
(Keep a full range of motion and squeeze at the top)Seated Cable Rows AGAIN – 3 sets of 10–12 reps
(Focused less on intensity and more on the movement)Barbell or Dumbbell Bicep Curls – 4 sets of 10–12 reps
(Focus on slow negatives, full stretch)Hammer Curls – 3 sets of 12–15 reps
(Keep your elbows close to your torso)
Day 3: Legs (Quads, Hamstrings, Glutes, Calves)
Barbell Squats – 4 sets of 10 reps
(Focus on depth and form, use a controlled tempo)Leg Press – 4 sets of 10–12 reps
(Go for a deep range of motion)Walking Lunges – 3 sets of 10–12 reps per leg
(Hold dumbbells at your sides, focus on a long stride)Leg Curls (Machine or Dumbbell) – 3 sets of 12–15 reps
(Concentrate on the hamstrings, slow on the negative)Standing Calf Raises – 4 sets of 12–15 reps
(Pause at the bottom for full range, you’d be surprised to find that your calves will grow more when you don’t focus on the top squeeze portion of the movement. And I’d be surprised if my calves grew period, so there’s that.)Seated Calf Raises – 3 sets of 15–20 reps
(Focus on a slow, controlled movement for peak contraction)
Progressive Overload Strategy:
Aim to increase the weight or reps on major compound lifts (like bench press, squat, deadlift) each week.
Maintain proper form while pushing for small but consistent gains in weight.
Track your progress and aim to improve on your lifts or add a rep every 1–2 weeks.
Rest and Recovery:
Ensure you have at least one rest day between workouts. Unless you feel the need to be in the gym every single day, it really is not necessary for progress. If you’re one of those guys that goes every single day, I’d be willing to bet you make more progress if you cut your days down and focused more on recovery. (e.g., Monday, Wednesday, Friday).
Sleep is key to muscle recovery—aim for 7–9 hours per night. I’m lucky if I get 6, but I sleep in my car so it makes sense. You need to be sleeping.
You’ll notice that some of these workouts may feel short. You are not using intensity. I assure you, the greater the intensity - the longer these workouts will feel. Why only one to two movements per body part? Your chest doesn’t know the difference between machines. It knows when it’s being loaded with stress, and that’s it. Use it to your advantage when the gym is packed. You don’t need four exercises, you need one really good one.
NO GYM - NO PROBLEM
Discipline yourself
I want to make it very clear that building your physique at home without equipment is a little more challenging, but not impossible. When all of the gyms were shut down during Covid, I had just gotten out of an 8 month dry spell from the gym due to two shoulder surgeries. I obtained the shoulder injury from a fall, and it was not from working out. When I got my mobility back and was able to exercise, I had nowhere to do it except home. I was able to build a physique that I was confident in from just a few months of focused at home workouts. It reminded me of a time when I was younger in high school in a small town with no money and had no workout equipment.
Over the summer when I didn’t have access to my high schools weight room, I improvised. I would fill backpacks with gallon jugs and do lunges. I would cary bricks in a duffle bag to the local playground and do pull ups on the monkey bars with the duffle bag around my shoulders.
To achieve a physique like Brad Pitt in Fight Club, you’ll want to focus on building lean muscle, increasing definition, and reducing body fat. This requires a combination of bodyweight strength training, high-intensity interval training (HIIT) for fat-burning, and some core-focused exercises to target that ripped look. Though admittedly, I no longer directly train abs or core. You can, but I don’t. I have no evidence for it, but I find that when I train my abs hard - yes they get sore - but over time I noticed that it just makes my abs look kinda blocky and washed out. My waist looks larger. The only way to achieve that slimmed down appearance is to truly do just that - slim down. You will notice a greater improvement in your midsection when you lose more body fat. That being said - Here's an at-home workout plan designed to help you achieve that look, all without any equipment.
Weekly Schedule (5 days a week)
Day 1: Upper Body + Core
Day 2: Full Body HIIT
Day 3: Lower Body + Core
Day 4: Upper Body + Core
Day 5: Full Body HIIT + Core
Rest Days: 2 days (e.g., Saturday and Sunday) for recovery
Day 1: Upper Body + Core
Circuit 1 (Repeat 1 time)
Push-ups – 60 seconds (I aim for 40 push-ups)
Diamond Push-ups (hands close together) – 30 seconds
Plank to Push-up – 30 seconds
Triceps Dips (using a chair/bench) – 30 seconds
Plank – 30 seconds
Rest for 60 seconds between rounds
Core Finisher (Repeat 2 times)
Leg Raises – 40 reps
Bicycle Crunches – 20 reps each side
Mountain Climbers – 30 seconds
Side Plank (each side) – 30 seconds
Day 2: Full Body HIIT
Perform each exercise for 45 seconds followed by 15 seconds rest. Complete all exercises, then rest for 1 minute. Repeat for 4 rounds.
Jump Squats
Push-ups
Burpees
Mountain Climbers
Lunges (alternating)
Plank Hold
Day 3: Lower Body + Core
Circuit 1 (Repeat 3 times)
Bodyweight Squats – 45 seconds
Lunges (alternating) – 30 seconds
Bulgarian Split Squats (use a chair/bench) – 30 seconds each leg
Glute Bridges – 30 seconds
Side Leg Raises – 30 seconds each leg
Rest for 60 seconds between rounds
Core Finisher (Repeat 2-3 times)
Leg Raises – 20 reps
V-ups – 20 reps
Plank with Shoulder Taps – 30 seconds
Flutter Kicks – 30 seconds
Day 4: Upper Body + Core
Circuit 1 (Repeat 3-4 times)
Wide Push-ups – 45 seconds
Tricep Push-ups – 30 seconds
Inchworm Walkouts – 30 seconds
Superman Hold – 30 seconds
Side Plank – 30 seconds each side
Rest for 60 seconds between rounds
Core Finisher (Repeat 2-3 times)
Russian Twists – 20 reps each side
Leg Raises – 20 reps
Plank to Push-up – 30 seconds
Flutter Kicks – 30 seconds
Day 5: Full Body HIIT + Core
HIIT Workout: (Perform each exercise for 40 seconds, 20 seconds rest in between)
Jumping Jacks
Push-ups
Burpees
High Knees
Lunges
Mountain Climbers
Core Finisher (Repeat 2-3 times)
Bicycle Crunches – 20 reps each side
V-ups – 20 reps
Leg Raises – 20 reps
Plank with Shoulder Taps – 30 seconds
Cardio:
Add in 1-2 sessions of moderate-intensity cardio (like jogging or cycling) for 30-45 minutes on rest days.
HIIT workouts (like the ones above) will also help boost your metabolism and burn fat.
Rest and Recovery:
Sleep is crucial for muscle recovery and fat loss. Aim for 7-9 hours per night.
Stay Alive.
It all starts at the bottom.
Fitness for me isn’t about the mirror, or the way I look. It’s not about the muscles, or the six-pack abs. I know that sounds like a cliché, but I need you to hear this: I don’t use fitness for aesthetics. I use it because it keeps me from falling apart. It keeps my head clear, but it’s more complicated than that. I didn’t even realize it until recently, but for a long time, fitness has been a way to hurt myself. I didn’t know I was doing it, but that’s what it was—pain, self-inflicted, wrapped up in weights and sweat. I thought I was doing something good. But the truth is, I was using it as a substitute for something darker.
I grew up in a broken home. I don’t want to get lost in my past because I know there are people out there who’ve had it much worse than I did. So I’ll just cut to it.
I was bullied. I was called a “fag” every single day—by the kids at school, by my stepdad, by the people I looked up to. I was small, skinny, awkward. I didn’t fit in. I didn’t know how to fight back. I didn’t even know what I was fighting for. I was a kid. But the words stuck. They hurt. And after a while, I started to believe them. It was like they were tattooed into my skin. I wasn’t “normal.” I was too different. Too weak. And there was nothing I could do about it.
When I was 14, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was done with being the small one, the outcast. So, one night, around 2 a.m., I just decided: this ends now. I started doing push-ups in my room. Over and over, until my arms burned and my body ached. And when that wasn’t enough, I started doing crunches, quietly, trying not to make a sound. I did this every night for months, in the dark, while everyone else was asleep. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know why. But it felt like something I could control.
Eventually, I built up enough courage to step into the weight room at my high school. It was small, cramped, and crowded with kids who looked like they knew exactly what they were doing. But I kept showing up. Slowly, I started to fill out. The shirts fit better. The boys at school started noticing. For a while, that felt good. But it wasn’t until I was 17, that something shifted.
One night, I went to this 24-hour gym about 20 minutes outside of town. I was alone. I remember the empty warehouse, the low hum of the lights, and the cold metal around me. I started my chest workout, but everything felt wrong. I was moving weight, sure, but it didn’t feel right. It felt pointless. My 17-year-old ego was crashing down. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw someone who wasn’t enough. I saw the same kid I used to be. The kid I hated. And I knew that no matter how much weight I pushed, it would never be enough.
I wasn’t even sure I understood it at the time, but I felt stuck. Trapped in a small town, with no way out. I didn’t know back then how much my past had fucked me up, how much my mental health had been shaped by the things I’d gone through. But that night, in that empty gym, it all started to click. And I realized that I was broken in ways I didn’t even know how to fix.
But in that moment, something took over. Something snapped. I put down the chest press and grabbed the cable row. I don’t even know why I switched. I just did. I did my first set of 10 reps—slow, controlled. But then... something was different. My breath started coming faster. I stared at the bar in front of me, and instead of waiting the usual minute for my next set, I jumped right back in. I didn’t care anymore.
I pushed myself harder. Ten more reps. Then ten more. My hands were shaking. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. My chest tightened. My throat felt like it was closing. I couldn’t breathe. More, I told myself. I have more. And I kept going. Ten more reps. Ten more. My hands went numb. My heart was racing. The weight felt heavier. My form was falling apart. I could feel the burn, the strain, the tears threatening to break me.
But still, I pushed. More, I told myself. “They’re laughing at you. You’re not enough. You’re weak. You’ll never be anything more than what they said you are.” And still, I kept going. More. My hands were bleeding now. I couldn’t keep my form. I could barely finish a rep. My vision started to narrow, like the world was fading away. I couldn’t see anything but the pain. And then, I couldn’t take it anymore. I let go. I staggered away from the machine, stumbled to the bathroom, and threw up. I collapsed onto the cold floor of that warehouse gym, sobbing. My hands were covered in blood. My heart was still pounding. And for the first time in a long time, I felt... alive.
I didn’t know what to call it then, but I do now. I call it “the void.” It’s this place where I push myself beyond what feels possible. I push until I can’t feel my body anymore. I push until I see black. It’s not healthy. I know it’s not. I’m fully aware that I’m gambling with my health, with my life. But it’s part of me. And I can’t stop.
Every workout after that night has had a piece of that void in it. Sometimes it’s once a week. Sometimes, when I’m feeling really low, it’s every day. But I need it. I have to find it. And when I do, when I’ve pushed myself to the edge, the feeling that comes after is indescribable. There’s something in that pain that makes me feel like I’m actually living. Like I’m not just surviving. It’s a relief. A strange, almost sacred relief.
If you don’t see results in my workouts, it’s because of this. This strange, twisted part of me that exists in every set. It’s not a healthy coping mechanism. I don’t think it’s something to be proud of. But it’s part of my routine. It’s a part of me. And some days, I feel like I’m nothing without it.
So, to anyone out there who gets it, who understands—good luck. Keep fighting. Find your own version of the void. Because even though it’s dark, sometimes that darkness is the only thing that makes you feel like you’re truly alive.